What's your first name ?

I am frequently asked for my first name for waiting lists at restaurants these days. This is a symptom of aggressive informality in modern American culture. Being an old curmudgeon, I prefer to invite someone to address me by my first name, and not to have them presume that privilege. Even my highly informal and extremely friendly wife resents being denied the gesture of inviting a new acquaintance into the closer relationship of being on a first name basis.

I wish to make a suggestion to all and sundry who use a waiting list in their business. Many people find it rude to be addressed by their first name by a total stranger, especially ones who don't look like they have completed adolescence yet. It is not even very practical. Call out for John or Bob or Jim and see how many people stand up. Instruct the staff to ask for the name, not for the first name. Let the customer choose which one to offer.

The following comment was received.

I can only say "well said" to your comments/opinion on this subject. MY opinion that one should ask permission to use one's first name when neither party is socially familier.......That opinion rendered by an Arkansas member of that great fraternity known as RAINS. Greetings and good health to you and yours.
Terry Rains

10 Feb 97

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